Today I broke one of the tines off my garden fork while trying to force a large rock out of the soil.
I couldn’t even see the rock. I just felt the pressure of it.
Did I have the patience to move to the other side and get a different leverage angle? Of course not. Why? Because I wanted it done now.
Honestly, I was already thinking about preparing a different soil spot for the zucchini bed, and I just wanted to be done with this section (which was for the future basil and marigolds next to the tomatoes).
You would have thought that I learned my lesson at last night’s yoga class (I’m awful at yoga). Yoga’s lesson was – and always is – to be in the present moment. Don’t try to DO one thing and THINK about a different thing at the same time.
And, that’s exactly what I was doing when I was impatiently forcing that rock to move.
As I continued to work I was reminded of a few things about rocks in the garden – things that are analogous to rocks in our finances:
The “big” rock is not as big as we think. Actually, it’s a decent size rock that is glued together by compacted clay to lots of other smaller rocks that makes it FEEL like a HUGE rock.
How often in our lives do we feel this way about an issue – especially about a financial issue? Maybe it’s debt. Maybe it’s saving for a big-ticket item like a wedding. Maybe it’s saving for retirement. Maybe it’s an unexpected expense.
It feels really big, and very weighty.
I have found that when my clients try to force a solution, something is going to break. Only with people, I find that what breaks is usually more significant than a garden fork. Maybe emotions run rampant. Maybe one savings account is invaded to deal with the weighty issue. Maybe we actually get discouraged and begin to believe that there is no solution.
But, when we sit down and start to examine the issue, we find that often, the situation is not as dire or as big as we thought. And, we also find that there are several smaller pieces that can be dealt with first, that then make the dealing with “big rock” much easier.
Left alone, without an advisor, we often get caught by our emotions, or distracted by a bigger future thought about potential negative consequences – and then we are at serious risk of forcing a less-than-optimal decision.
With an advisor, the situation is often easier to unpack and unravel. We tend to breathe better when we have a coach coming alongside us. The load seems a little lighter.
There are a lot of valuable things in the big ball of clay and rocks – like earthworms, nutrients, minerals, and important microbes. We want to keep those things while letting go of the original pain-in-the-neck rock.
While we are analyzing and dealing with the issue, we often gain insights along the way. Maybe we adjust our savings for the unexpected. Maybe we get better at separating our emotions from
the financial decision.
Other times, we find a solution to the financial issue that allows us to let go of its heaviness, so that we can enjoy the event involved with the finances.
The most important thing that can happen is that my clients become better at communicating and working together as partners. And since money runs through all aspects of life, communicating well about money has huge ripple effects.
Patience
in the garden is critical
to success.
Yelling at the seeds to hurry up and sprout has no effect. Pouring more water and plant food on the seeds will destroy them rather than help them do their job.
Similarly, it is really, really difficult to be patient when it comes to finances. And it is really, really tempting to take some action – any action – so that we feel better emotionally – not because it is a wise plan.
If we are impatient that it takes a few years to create a significant savings (or to pay off debt), we can make the mistake of forcing a different – less reasonable – way. And that attempt usually has disastrous results.
We often experience impatience when the market goes down. (Funny we don’t usually feel that way when it goes up.) We invest in the market with the goal that our money will work for us – will make more money for us. When it doesn’t go straight up, we get impatient – and sometimes frustrated and nervous.
When we make a financial plan, we usually make it rationally, and with little negative emotion. So, when the emotions (like impatience) rear up, the plan needs to become our beacon, not our emotions.
It’s amazing how patience teaches us diligence, consistency and good habits. By not getting the results that we want immediately, we learn and adapt. And, we improve how we relate to money and use it as a tool.
The Take-away:
Want a better relationship with your garden? Keep your mind focused on your task at hand, stop yelling at the seeds, and feed the worms.
Want a better relationship with your finances? Get a financial advisor who can help you keep things in perspective, develop a better relationship with money, and encourage you to develop
better habits and responses to financial situations.
